Behind the mask
by shadow-roze
Summary: Arthur lets someone see who he wants to be, not what he is expected to be
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but a brain with too many thoughts**

_(All mistakes are my own apologies in advance just in case)_

Camelot was eerily quiet, the sky an unnatural yellow and the air was so thick you could taste it. From Gaius' workroom in the castle, Merlin could feel the storm building. If he concentrated he could feel the layers of pressure settle in the surrounding area and seep into the castle. It was easy to let his mind wander as he bottled some strange concoction that had been left to settle over night.

The enjoyed the peace and quiet of the workroom, as the rest of the castle was preparing for a diplomatic visit from another kingdom, a brother and sister, Prince and Princess who would be arriving the following evening. They would bring with them any number of nobility, guards and servants to make the right impression, Uther of course, would not be outdone and had everyone working night and day to ensure the castle and surrounding area looked perfect, new clothes had been ordered fro everyone, and any number of other preparations were taking place. Arthur of course hated it all and had taken some of the knights out away from the castle to train, supposedly for the tournament held in honour of their guests, but Merlin knew it was just so he could avoid the preparations and everything that went with them. He only hoped that Arthur made it back before the storm broke or he would have an even harder time cleaning clothes.

Finishing up his work, Merlin became aware of how heavy the air had become, curious he stepped out into the winding corridors of the castle, narrowly avoiding a passing servant with an armful of clothes. As he progressed he passed many more people with clothes to be cleaned, repaired or fitted. Reaching the courtyard without incident he looked up at the sky, suddenly nervous as he watched the unnatural play of colours across its expanse. Closer to home another flash of colour caught his eye as Gwen collected a number of dresses from a seamstress, know she would be unable to carry them all and walk he darted over to her and removed the top few dresses from her pile.

"More new clothes? Surely Morgana has enough dresses for one hundred diplomatic visits"

"You know how Uther feels about Camelot being properly represented; I would have thought Arthur would have had just as many new clothes"

"Who knows, he has been staying out of the way, which means I have nothing to do so lead on"

Gwen just smiled as she walked into the castle, Merlin was trying his best to be helpful but she knew how clumsy he was and couldn't help but be concerned for the clothing he was now carrying. Surprisingly the clothes survived the journey to Morgana's chambers and Gwen was able to open the door without loosing her own grip on her cargo. Merlin stood in the corridor unsure of whether to follow or not, walking unannounced into Arthur's room was very different from doing the same to Morgana. Before he could work it out for himself Morgana appeared in the doorway and took and took the dresses from him.

"Arthur would be surprised as this show of propriety"

Merlin blushed

"Different circumstances, totally different"

Seeing Merlin stuttering in the doorway, Gwen couldn't help but laugh, but the sound was drowned out by a deafening rumble, as the gathering storm broke above the castle. Vibrating through every stone the noise seemed to be everywhere at once and ran through Merlin's bones.

Knowing the storm would drive Arthur back to the castle despite all the preparations, Merlin decided to go and prepare Arthur's room. Making his way through the castle corridors he could see the flashes of lightening from the open doors of busy rooms and the thunder continued to roll through his bones. The unease he had felt earlier continued to grow with the sounds of the storm and he knew it would remain until Arthur was back. Something about feel of the storm had got under his skin.

Merlin made a quick detour back to the workroom and picked up a small bottle of bitter liquid, although Arthur would complain about the taste, its warming effect would stop him from complaining too much. Upon reaching Arthur's room, Merlin began to build the fire once again letting his mind wander, trying not to allow his thoughts to focus on his fear for his friend. Once the fire was build a quick word send sparks into the wood but the lack of concentration caused a slightly larger than expected fire to appear scorching the stone work before Merlin could calm he blaze. Looking around to check no one had seen him, Merlin back away from the fire, deciding it would be safer if he kept himself occupied in more non-magical ways.

Merlin continued to tidy the room as he listened to the rain and the movement of other servants in the castle, however the noises soon changed, there was more urgency in the steps and the muffled voices had a different ring than usual. Putting it down to the storm he continued his work,

"Merlin!"

Spinning around, Merlin nearly knocked Gwen over as she cannoned into the room.

"Arthur's missing, the knights have all returned, the horses bolted when the storm broke and they were split up, everyone has come back apart from Arthur."

The knights of Camelot prepared to ride out into the storm, watching from the castle Uther stood with his advisors, with a small nod he sent them on their way. Merlin watched the knights disappear into the darkness; he knew that Arthur was an excellent horseman, better than many of knights who were searching for him yet he had not returned. If what the knights said was true, the horses had taken fright in the storm; many of them had lost their horses and returned on foot. If the same had happened to the prince he could be anywhere and the only way he would be found would be if one of his knights rode into him.

Before he realised his feet were moving Merlin stepped out into Courtyard unnoticed, the sting of the rain barely registered as he ran through the gates, there was no sign of the knights who had left only moments before. Unbidden the words of a spell formed in Merlin's mind, the words pouring out of his mouth, almost taking shape before flying off into the wind torn air forming a kaleidoscope of colours across the clouds. Merlin followed the line drawn by his spell across the sky; before it could fade he placed his destination in his mind and ran against the storm. He knew Arthur was close; the light had stopped just over a mile away. Trust him to loose his way so close to home. Merlin ran across open ground stumbling on stones strewn across the ground. Knowing he must be close, Merlin created a small spark of green light that danced across the palm of his hand, stopped for a second to watch the reflections in the falling rain before throwing it into the storm. His spell hovered for a second before slipping through the rain a few feet ahead of Merlin where it danced in the air.

Lying beneath the spell was Arthur, he was lying on his side and his eyes while open were unfocused and dull.


	2. Chapter 2

Kneeling beside the still form of Arthur, Merlin tried to remember everything he had learned from Gaius. He was still breathing, carefully Merlin looked for any obvious injuries, there did not appear to be any broken bones. As he moved around Arthur he was aware that Arthur's eyes seemed to be trying to follow him but were unable to focus. The realisation that Arthur was conscious created a battle of emotions within Merlin relief that he was alive fought with the fear of not being able to keep him that way, his flurry of emotions causing his spell to dance through the air weaving intricate patterns above his head before he extinguished it. A flash of lightening and the accompanying roll of thunder across the sky was enough to bring rational thought back into Merlin's mind. Carefully he reached down to brush Arthur's soaking hair away from his eyes, revealing a small cut along the hair line. Although it only looked like a surface wound Merlin could see the blood seeping through, only to be washed away in the rain, looking closer he could also see a small a small lump forming on Arthur's head.

Slipping an arm under Arthur's shoulders, Merlin managed to get the prince into a sitting position. The only injuries he could find appeared to be on his head and even those appeared no worse than those he could have obtained in a jousting tournament. Looking into Arthur's glassy eyes he waited to see if there was any spark of recognition. Arthur struggled to make sense of the blurred images in front of him. He knew Merlin was there, although his eyes refused to see him. He tried to move but that only caused the fractured images to distort further and he felt his body pitch forwards.

Merlin caught Arthur as he slumped forwards and was able to pull the Prince's arm around his shoulders. He waited a few seconds before standing half carrying half supporting Arthur into standing up. Although he was leaning heavily on his shoulder Merlin could see that Arthur was able to stand and he felt another wave of relief rush through him. It was clear that although Arthur could move he had no idea of where he was, he appeared almost like a puppet waiting for someone to take up his strings.

Looking around Merlin knew he lost the direction of the castle and conjured a third finder spell, considerably weaker than his previous attempts which created a faint trail to his right before dissolving into the rain. The night was already taking its toll, his fear for Arthur sapping his strength.

Taking lead from his spell, Merlin gently guided the semi conscious Arthur through the storm. Although it was clear Arthur had no sense of where he was, he was at least able to move and Merlin couldn't help but compare this situation to the many times he had carried a very drunk Arthur back to chambers after one of Uther's feasts. The lights of the castle form through the rain, a welcome sight in vast darkness.

Staggering through the castle gates he called for help, Arthur had finally lost consciousness completely and Merlin could no longer support his weight. Several guards ran forwards from where they had been keeping watch followed by Gaius and the King. Merlin was aware of Gaius giving instructions to the guards as the lifted Arthur and carried him into the castle. Uther follows his son as he taken to his chambers.

Gaius turns to him briefly.

"Are you hurt?"

Merlin shakes his head, unable for the moment to speak.

"Go and rest"

"But Arthur"

"He will be fine; you will be no use to him if you catch your death of cold. Rest."

For a second Merlin was going to argue, until he noticed he was shivering. Making his way up to his room he decided to get dry before going and checking on Arthur, knowing he would never be able to sleep until he knew Arthur was out of any danger.

Merlin entered Arthur's chambers to find him sat on his bed while Gaius examined the cut on his head. He looked pale and not quite able to focus but he was awake. Merlin suddenly felt very light headed as the weight slipped from his thoughts, leaning on the door frame he listened as Gaius declared that apart from a very large headache the Prince should be fine.

Gaius turned from his patient and spotted Merlin.

"If your not going to rest you can stay here and make sure he doesn't try and get up, he may still experience some dizziness."

Gaius gathered up his things and handed Merlin a small bottle.

"Give this to Arthur, it will ensure a dreamless sleep."

The room descended into silence, as Merlin poured the mixture into a goblet.

"Gaius told me you probably saved my life."

Not expecting Arthur to speak, Merlin jumped but managed not to spill the liquid. He placed both the goblet and the bottle on the table before turning to Arthur.

"Somebody would have found you, I was just lucky."

Arthur didn't appear to be listening; he was staring out of the window, watching the storm.

"Every time I thought about dying I always thought it would be here when I was old and grey and I would be surrounded by people, or it would be on a battlefield defending Camelot. I never thought I would die alone. Out there in the storm I though I was going to die and then you were there."

"Where else was I going to be?"

The words were out of Merlin's mouth before he could stop them. He waited for some sarcastic remark about being late or something similar but there was nothing.

Needing something to distract from his awkwardness Merlin picked up the goblet.

"Here drink this, it will help you sleep."

Merlin tried to hand Arthur the goblet but he refused to take it.

"Wait, if I drink that, will you stay? I don't want to be alone."

Seeing the usually confident Arthur so vulnerable brought back the fear Merlin had experienced seeing him lying out in the storm. He knew he would do anything to keep Arthur safe.

"I'll stay."

Arthur took the goblet from Merlin without looking at him.

"Thank you."

Merlin watched as Arthur lay back and closed his eyes, before taking a seat by the fire, suddenly aware of his own exhaustion. Arthur's words kept running through his head and he promised himself he would not allow Arthur's fears to become reality, Arthur when the time came, would not die alone.

Merlin sat, watching the dancing flames. He was so absorbed in his thoughts he did not notice Arthur try and sit up and look around. Unable to see Merlin in the shadows, Arthur tried to get out of bed, when a wave of dizziness hit. He fell forwards into the arms of Merlin.

"Most people try and sleep by staying in bed, not walking around."

Exasperated Merlin looked at Arthur, who was now standing but still leaning on him.

"I am not going to leave. Go to sleep, it will make you feel better."

Arthur looked at him. A few minutes ago he had been unable to pick Merlin out in the shadows and thought he had left him. He dropped his head and placed a gentle kiss on Merlin's lips, hoping to convey his feelings where his words failed him.

"I promise I won't leave you alone."

Merlin could see the potion taking effect and helped Arthur lie down, before sitting on the side of the bed, close enough for Arthur to reach out to him. He watched as every few seconds Arthur struggled to open his eyes to check he was still there.

"Would you stop fighting it and just get some sleep. I told you I'm not going anywhere."

Merlin lay back on the bed next to Arthur and held him close.

"Now will you go to sleep?"


End file.
